Leaving on a Jet Plane

2:30 am we are up getting ready to head out the door to take Jeremy back to the airport. The slience is unsetteling, because you know that you are both thinking the same thing. "Is this job worth it?"  I try and keep calm and collected after tearing up over everything the evening before. All the thoughts that come to my mind are overwhelming and scary. I always have to remind my self that I will find my groove again and of all the things that I can get acomplished.
Jeremy is wondering around the house in a maner that sugests that he is going to forget something. He always gets up before the alarm to get ready and I am always the one trying to make it all last just a little longer. He tries to push things off untill the last minuite in a last ditch effort to make his stay at home seem longer. It never works.
Our biggest fear is the kids and how this job will effect them. They are all about their daddy! He cant leave their side when he is home. Our life is diffrent from most and it has its ups and downs.
The ride to the airport involves a lot of me passing out in the driver seat and looking like a druged out bobble head of some sort. Then I wake up and oppologise for falling asleep in out last few min together. Holding on to his arm untill it goes numb is always an option that I take FULL advantage of. Then we start to pull up to the airport.......I would like to scream out " YOU CANT HAVE HIM!" "HE IS OUR'S!" but then I remember just who I am and how I need to stay compossed for my family. Keep it together Christy!......That thought is always there. Then the time comes when he slowly gets out of the car....the kids start to realize jsut what is going on.....I feel a lump in my throught and my eyes begin to burn a little. I tell Jeremy "You are doing the right thing for your family." "We love you and will always be here for you when you come home." By this time we are all needing some one to hold us and a large box of puffs plus. He gives the kids a last hug and kiss good bye and then its my turn. I think if I hold on tight enough that he will decide that he cant go. Or maybe if I hold on long enough that I will feel his arms around me for the next 5 weeks, but it never works. The good bye kiss is the same way....Never long enough.
Ok now that I have made you all depressed..... I will say that all though it is really hard, we have the great blessing of getting to see just how important our time together really is. How pressious all the memories are that we make together. Never take your time with your family for granted.